Name:
________________________________ Period: ___ Date: ______________
Showing v. Telling
Exploding the Moment
Directions:
Pick one sentence from the telling paragraph to “explode” with details.
Your goal is to create a movie image rather than a lump of words. However, your
additions must still fit in with the facts of the original paragraph.
Telling
Paragraph: I
woke up late this morning--as usual. I had no clean clothes and the
fridge was next to bare. Traffic was heavy as I sped to work. Some jerk cut me
off and I almost had a wreck. At work I went to my desk and there was a note to
go and see the boss. I waited outside her office for a while before she called
me in. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see me. I went inside and sat
down. My boss handed me an envelope. She told me that my services were no
longer needed and that I was free to go. I got my belongings from my desk and
left. The drive home was quick. I am now unemployed.
Directions #2: Now, repeat this activity with
your poems. I expect your poems to be full of details!
Telling
Paragraph: I
woke up late this morning--as usual. I had no clean clothes and the
fridge was next to bare. Traffic was heavy as I sped to work. Some jerk cut me
off and I almost had a wreck. At work I went to my desk and there was a note to
go and see the boss. I waited outside her office for a while before she called
me in. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see me. I went inside and sat
down. My boss handed me an envelope. She told me that my services were no
longer needed and that I was free to go. I got my belongings from my desk and
left. The drive home was quick. I am now unemployed.
Showing Paragraph (Exploding the
Moment): Some
jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. I hate people who can’t drive. I
decided to teach him a little lesson by playing near bumper cars with his
bright red 300 ZX. He kept hitting his brakes, and eventually even shook a fist
of rage at me. I giggled gleefully--kind of like that lady in Fried Green
Tomatoes who got immense pleasure from repeatedly rearending
the car of the person who had stolen her parking space. Space is crucial, and
that jerk will probably think twice before he cuts into mine again.